What? No Malibu Dream House?
Date Added: May 15, 2001
For many people exploring e-mail for the first time, it's easy to believe that it has some magical ability to rewards if you share messages with friends. Unfortunately, this is just a fairy tale.
READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END-THERE'S A TRICK TO IT.
Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and Our aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too- muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines wiith a tube of Skin Sparkle Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B.; includes a real tape of " Breaking Is Hard to Do. "
9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries alot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self " is included.
If you forward to 11 people a video comes on your screen. This works. I don't know how...but it works This is the coolest thing I've ever gotten! All you have to do is send it to 11 people and this little video comes up on your screen and shows the funniest clip. I can't tell you what it is but I was laughing so hard! So spend a few seconds to send this and you'll be glad you did!
Since most of the jokes being forwarded on the Internet or either old or just not funny enough to stand on their own, some jokers have added an artificial motivation for forwarding them. Let's face it, the Barbie jokes would never have gotten nearly as far if they didn't promise some reward.
E-mail messages are text files. There currently is no technology that will allow an e-mail to detect when it's been sent x-number of times, let alone make a video clip play. Think about it - Is this even a functionality we'd want e-mail to have? Do you really want a third party to be able to monitor your e-mail activity and execute files on your computer without your permission?
Unfortunately, most people get intoxicated by an offer of something for nothing that they forward it without considering what the offer implies. Luckily, what this one offers won't happen. Break this Chain!