(8/25/2004) The occasional mistake doesn’t make us stupid, but apparently, if you can compile a list of malaprops, you somehow demonstrate a person’s lack of intelligence. This list has been around for almost a decade, but has been dusted off in a futile attempt to discredit Democratic hopeful John Kerry.

SAMPLE CHAIN LETTER TEXT TALK ABOUT A DEEEEEEEP THINKER??????? John F. Kerry speaks: "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." - John F. Kerry "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - John F. Kerry "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." - John F. Kerry "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." - John F. Kerry "The future will be better tomorrow." - John F. Kerry "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." - John F. Kerry "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - John F. Kerry "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." - John F. Kerry "Public speaking is very easy." - John F. Kerry "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." - John F. Kerry "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - John F. Kerry "For NASA, space is still a high priority." - John F. Kerry "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - John F. Kerry "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - John F. Kerry "Its time for the human race to enter the solar system." - John F. Kerry END CHAIN LETTER TEXT

Variants of this list have attributed these (and other) questionable quotes to President George W. Bush as well as former Vice Presidents Dan Quayle and Al Gore. The Bush version is the most popular by far, but the new Kerry version is quickly gaining ground. One of the sure-fire signs that someone has simply taken a copy of one of these previous lists and swapped Kerry's name with the previously accused supposed mis-speaker is the third so-called quote about a Governor’s responsibility. Why would Kerry be commenting on this, since he is a Senator and has never served in that capacity. Of those to whom this list has been attributed, Bush is the only one with that accomplishment on his resume.

So, who did utter these infamous lines? Unfortunately, the original author did not see fit to identify himself or herself, nor does he or she provide and sources or context. The list vary from version to version, with other anonymous contributors adding their own comments and supposed quotes, also without source or context. Several web sites have tried to validate versions of the list, but their “proof” is often as spurious as the quotes themselves. The general consensus among more liberal sources is that these are “definitely” the words of George W. Bush, while more right-leaning investigators are convinced that they must have been spoken by Former Vice President Dan Quayle.

Since all of these quotes were previously attributed to Bush, Quayle or Gore, it’s safe to reason that Kerry did not speak them. Break this chain.

Category: Political Ponderings
References: TruthOrFiction.com, Revision Guru

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