Break the Chain Claire Swallows

Created 12/15/2000 (12/15/2000) The following is a set of message forwards that tell a soap-opera-like tale of a London woman who reveals a bit too much about herself on the company's e-mail system.

Warning: The following contains mature subject matter which may be inappropriate or offensive to some readers.

SAMPLE CHAIN LETTER TEXT

This one has done the done the rounds. Read from bottom up.
----------
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 11 December 2000 14:31
To: (Multiple Recipients Deleted)
Subject: RE: Kilburn - do you know Claire Swire?...

I Can't believe this!!!

First of all, I don't know any of you!! What do you care about my social life? Don't you sad bastards have anything better to do with your time?

Shouldn't you all be working. I'm going to make it a point to send this email to info@yourcompany.com just so that people can see what you do with your time!

To you Girls: You've all swallowed at one time or another, so don't judge me!

To the Guys: All you're going to get is a fantasy, so go do what you're good at... tossers!

Yum!

- Claire

-----Original Message-----
From: (Sender Deleted)
Sent: 08 December 2000 11:26
To: (Multiple Recipients Deleted)
Subject: FW: "yours was yum"

scroll - the jokes are at the very bottom, but the real value is the e-mails from Ms. Swire a bit further up

-----Original Message-----
From: (Sender Deleted)
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:28
To: (Multiple Recipients Deleted)
Subject: FW: "yours was yum"

beggars belief. I feel honour bound to circulate this.

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:25
To: (Multiple Recipients Deleted)
Subject: "yours was yum"

now THAT'S a nice compliment from a lass, isn't it?

-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:12
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

I hadn't swallowed for years but yours was yum and very good for me too!
Apparently it's very good conditioner for your hair too...getting a funny picture in my head, giggling out loud and now having to explain to Dave what's so funny!

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:10
To: 'Claire Swire'
Subject: RE:

Not ALL the time I hope
(or so you would have me believe)

-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:07
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

lucky I swallow so that wont be happening to me!

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:06
To: 'Claire Swire'
Subject: RE:

cute

-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 15:53
To: (Multiple Recipients Deleted)
Subject:

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.

He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!".

So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

END CHAIN LETTER TEXT

Confused? Here's the gist: Claire Swire sends an off-color joke to several co-workers at London's Norton Rose Law Firm. One of the recipients, Bradley Chait, replies that he thinks it's funny. The two begin a lurid "conversation" of replies that implies some sexual behavior on their parts. After a few such exchanges, either accidentally or as a joke, Bradley forwards the entire thread of messages to several other employees of the company.

The new recipients become obsessed with finding the lovely individual with the interesting sexual, um, tastes. The message even finds its way out of the company and into the hands of employees at a rival law firm.

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Eventually, the search finds dear Claire, who appears very upset with everyone's perverse interest in her comments. This doesn't, however, stop the conversation from circulating. In fact, it seems to have added fuel to the fire as this beautiful example of why you should never send dirty jokes (or anything else not business related) via company e-mail has become one of the hottest things to hit Europe since the Spice Girls.

Apparently, this exchange is real. In a rather vague statement on the Norton Rose Website shortly after the message broke out, the firm explained their e-mail abuse policy and stated that the guilty parties had been disciplined.

The joke is an old one and borne of urban legend: A male and female coworker, believing they are alone, begin to have a playful but racy exchange. Unbeknownst to them, however, they've accidentally bumped the microphone on the company's public address system and all their co-workers are listening in. This time, the PA system is the company e-mail, and the results far more reaching. Now, poor Ms. Swire is an international celebrity. The numerous forwards violate the company's copyrights as well as the privacy rights of everyone whose name has been attached to the message. Don't get involved in this soap-opera, Break the Chain!

What Do You Think?

Category: General Junk
References: None

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